Change Happens.

I bumped into a friend the other day in a local bookstore. She had just traded-in a box of books for cash, which she most likely returned to the owner of said bookstore for a smaller stack of books on the way out. 'I'm cleaning out my house, getting rid of all the clutter,' she jubilantly declared.

My response was, 'me too!' Clothes that haven't been worn in years, blog notes and to-do lists for things long done or left undone, weeds in the yard, expired condiment bottles turned science projects in the back of the refrigerator. Out with the old, make room for the new, as they say.

A friend/customer came in the other day and was giddy about the dumpster that just got delivered to her driveway. 'I can't wait to clear out the house of all my old stuff!' She could hardly contain herself.

It seems the change in seasons often finds us hankerin' for change in our own lives.

So we attack the things under our control. Like the basement. Or the garden. Underneath the driver's seat of our Honda.

Saying goodbye to that which no longer serves us well. Although I've yet to see a scientific study to verify this, it seems the changing of seasons is a common trigger. Case in point, 'spring cleaning'.

Right up there with sports team collapses.

As I try to write about change and cleansing and rebirth, my mind can't help but return to the Red Sox and their 'historic' meltdown. Like a train wreck you just can't look away from, I can't seem to stop listening to the constant barrage of angry and broken-hearted Sox fans venting on talk radio or ranting through the comments section of the endless sports pieces from every analyst and blogger who ever heard of David Ortiz. It seems clear. Someone must take the fall for the fall. In a desperate attempt to gain some control over the situation, we fans, die-hard, bandwagon, pink hat or otherwise, speak our minds - 'Theo must go. Tito must go. Crawford must go. It's all Lackey's fault.'

Ah, if only we had keys to that cluttered Red Sox locker room, could we do some cleaning.

No one likes to feel helpless, so we fester and try to tell ourselves it's just a game. It doesn't matter. There are way more important things to get worked up over. We'll get 'em next year.

Perhaps they will or perhaps they won't. It seems clear, though, that when you don't get what you ultimately desire, you can either do the same thing again and hope it works out better on its own, or you can make changes you hope will improve the odds.

Last time it was art imitating life. Today it's sports.

I think 'Hoop' summed it up pretty well over on www.boston.com. I found this in the comments section of one of those countless post-mortem pieces..

John Henry may look like a milquetoast, but you don't build that kind of wealth without stepping on a few folks, and knowing that change is always needed from time to time to keep an organization on its edge. This organization has lost its edge, that is clear. It doesn't mean Tito and Theo are not immensely talented, it simply means it is time to refresh and rejuvenate.

Refresh and rejuvenate, I like that. I had to look up the word 'milquetoast', but I totally get the rest. I'm not going to lay all the blame on Tito or Theo or Letters to Cleo, but the point is clear. Change for change's sake isn't the answer, and cleaning your garage is much easier than facing a dysfunctional relationship or improving your self-confidence. But when things aren't working, perhaps a little closet cleaning may just be the gateway change needed to steer the ship toward what it is you seek, whether it be a world series ring or your own happiness.

53 Things I've Learned about Life.

A friend forwarded me one of those emails that people feel inclined to send to everyone they know. You know the ones I'm talking about - a barely funny joke, a slideshow with quotes and pretty pictures, a warning about the latest killer virus. Once in a while one is actually worth reading, and dare I suggest, forwarding to your own circle of cyber-friends. You may have seen this one, but in case you haven't here it is. It's a list of 'life lessons' Plains Dealer columnist Regina Brett, 90, from Cleveland, Ohio. It's a great little list, and I guess this is my version of sending it to all my cyber-friends, but rather than just forward it, I chose to take inspiration from it too.

As soon as I read Regina's list, I thought to myself, 'I need to write my list'. Having spent a good deal of time in my head and buried in the occasional self-help book, not to mention having penned a little something on the topic a few years back, I was quickly consumed by the challenge. I realize I could have spent a year on such a list, but I decided to just carry a little notebook around for a few days, and when something popped into my head, I'd jot it down. I suspect this may not be the 'be-all, end-all' for my life tips list, but I feel like it's a pretty good start.

Since 53 is the number of flavors I have here at the scoop shop, I thought that might be a good number to shoot for. As for whether I'm qualified to dispense such advice on life, I'm surely not, but in the interest of #15, I'm going to do it anyway. Thanks for indulging me. And apologies in advance to anyone who may have already said something that sounded like one of these.

53 Things I’ve learned about life.

1. Try not to think about what you DON’T want, just about what you DO want. The universe is way too literal.



2. Self-confidence beats a full house every time.



3. You get what you give.



4. It’s easier to stay in shape than to get in shape.



5. Don’t worry about what others are thinking. They’re probably thinking about themselves anyway.



6. When in doubt, just go. You rarely regret the opportunities you seized.



7. Try not to beat yourself up too much. Forgive, forget, move forward.



8. When you reminisce, focus on the good stuff.



9. Spend your time wisely, for time gives no refunds.



10. Turn off the news.



11. It’s the little things in your relationship you’ll miss most when they’re gone.



12. It’s never too late to be what you always wanted to be.



13. Never stop learning.



14. If the decision brings you peace, it’s the right decision.



15. Don’t die with the music still in you.



16. Live a healthy lifestyle, but don’t obsess about it.



17. Be good to your body now, and it’ll be good to you later.



18. Take pride in your accomplishments. All of them.



19. Learn to cook one great dish.



20. Live below your means.



21. Once in a while, however, live above your means, but just for a day or a week, maybe two.



22. Live your life in harmony. Harmony – when what you think, feel, say, and do are four and the same.



23. See the world.



24. Discover your purpose and your passions, and pursue them vigorously.



25. Nobody likes an Eeyore.



26. This too shall pass. Good and bad just the same.



27. Keep a journal, but in a safe place.



28. Live in the moment, but feel free to take a few pictures.



29. Love only hurts when you withhold it.



30. Don’t smoke. Medical opinion on stuff often changes, but it’s safe to say this one will always be bad for you.



31. Stop blaming your parents. They did the best they could with what they had.



32. Apply sunscreen daily and liberally.



33. Don’t be afraid to lean on your friends. It’s in their job description. And yours.



34. Breathe deeply.



35. Lighten up a little more, and laugh a lot more.



36. Hustle.



37. Go to the gym, especially when you don’t feel like it.



38. Figure out what the right amount of sleep is for you, and try to get it nightly.



39. Make the world a better place just by having been.



40. Pain now or pain later.



41. Everything works out the way it’s supposed to.



42. Hope for world peace, but strive for inner peace.



43. The quality of your life lies in the quality of your relationships.



44. Buy the best you can afford. It’s probably still cheaper than buying another one in six months.



45. Try not to stress over the stuff you can’t control - like the weather, chemistry, wrinkles, and the stock market.



46. Take a genuine interest in people, and they will want to be around you.



47. The fear goes away a little bit every time you do something you’re afraid of.



48. You attract what you are, not necessarily what you want.



49. Be grateful, generous, and humble.



50. Find a job you enjoy. You spend too much of your waking life there to have it any other way.



51. Try not to take it too personally. Their reaction likely has more to do with them than you.



52. The answers to most of your life’s questions are already inside you. I probably should have said that one first.



53. Do as I say, not as I do.

Enjoy your day. Jim.

2008: Some parting thoughts.

Sunset over the Nashwannuck (Dec. 28,2008)

Well, if the calendar on my fridge is telling the truth, it seems another year is about to be put to bed. Can you believe it? Is it me, or are the years accelerating? They all go fast, but this one flew like the wind. I hope 2008 has been your friend. And if not, that 2009 brings whatever 2008 left you wanting for, and then some.

I'm not really looking forward to this year's batch of 'highlights of 2008', 'top 10 lists' etc., because I fear they'll be full of the same doom and gloom we've been fed from the news on a daily basis all year. Personally, I believe things are only as bad as you decide them to be. Headlines and newscasts seem determined to remind us of all that's bad in the world. If you ask me, front page be darned, there's still a whole lot of good out there. It's all about what you decide to focus on. Let me get you started...

Gas prices topped $4.00 this year.
I paid $1.54 a gallon yesterday.

Housing prices dropped 18% in October.
More people can afford houses. They're buying only as much house as they need. Even I can afford a house now.

Foreclosures are way up.
Interest rates are at an all-time low of 4.5%

Retail sales 'plummeted' 4% this holiday season.
4%? Is 4% really a plummet?

Recent ice storm costs cities millions.
Neighbors and strangers came together to help each other get through days without power and heat.

The Patriots didn't make the playoffs.
11-5 without Tom Brady and many others. Their games were actually more fun to watch this year.

Red Sox didn't win the world series.
Yah, but how about that comeback game against Tampa Bay.

I think you get the idea.

On a lighter note, if you're not wandering around Northampton during First Night tomorrow, might I suggest popping down to Cottage Street just before midnight. Sure, it's hokey. Sure, it's over in 10 minutes. But like I always say, the ball drop from the wall of the Brass Cat is one of the coolest small town events of the year.


And if you happen to be warmed up and in your running gear, I invite you to join me and the gang for our annual 5K NYE midnight run. If the current weather report holds, it may be more of a frozen slide this year. It starts right after the ball drop outside the Cat, and here's the route. It may seem like a crazy thing to do at midnight on NYE, and it definitely is, but it really is a great way to start the new year. (Note: It's actually the 4th annual).

Speaking of New Years rituals, did you know?:

A Spanish New Year's Eve custom is to eat 12 grapes at midnight, one piece of fruit to bring good luck for each of the months ahead.

Eating noodles on NYE is a must for those of the Buddhist faith in Japan.

In Great Britain: a household's luck during the new year is said to be determined by the type of person who first steps foot across the threshold after the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve...

A dark-haired man is thought to be the ideal visitor for bestowing good luck. Unlike St. Nicholas, the early morning caller is particularly welcome if he leaves behind a lump of coal--or better yet, a coin--both considered tokens of prosperity.

To keep evil away, many in Japan observe the New Year by stretching straw rope across the fronts of their homes.

It Peru, it's custom to stand in a doorway and throw 12 coins over the left shoulder for each strike of the clock at midnight. This is believed to bring the person financial prosperity.



You may not have 12 grapes around or a dozen coins in your pocket at midnight, but I always thought this was a good one to end a year on...

During Tashlich, the Hebrew ritual for Rosh Hashanah (New Year), those of the Jewish faith throw bread into moving water as a symbol of releasing the previous years's transgressions. The bread feeds the fish and birds, so it is also a way to connect to all of God's creatures.


However you choose to usher out 2008 and greet 2009, I hope you enjoy, and that 2009 brings with it all you desire and a little bit more.

And if you're throwing bread into the pond tomorrow night, give us a cheer as my frozen friends and I jog by...

Market Whoa! & a Blog with Better Headlines.

I just thought the sight of a Deer Trax ice cream pie might offer just a few seconds of relief from the pit in your stomach you might be feeling from the stock market dive today. Ok, so perhaps you have to work a few more years before retirement than you anticipated. Or maybe you have the smartest investment advisor in the universe, and you shorted everything you could think of, and now you can retire by wednesday. I'm just hoping the market will behave somewhat like it did last week, continue its rollercoaster ride as the news oscillates between bad and good on a daily basis, but ultimately lands not so far from where it all started to go bad. If what you read in the news is even half true, however, things seem pretty dire, and alas, it may not be so simple.

My advisor tells me to 'stay the course', and if you believe common wisdom that suggests you're supposed to view the market as a long term thing, that short-term stock market timing is basically gambling, he's probably right.

Much easier said.

Enough said. Things will shake out the way they must. Greed and uncontrolled markets will get their due, lessons will be learned (hopefully), corrections made, and we can all get back to worrying about things that matter, like the Sox' playoff pitching rotation, what's up with Heather Locklear, and gosh I hope the new Mexican place next door can make a good burrito.

Moving to more cheerful topics, I've been meaning to start an intermittent series of blog entries about some of the blogs I read on a regular basis. I have a computer sitting on a table just a few feet from my ice cream making operation, which often helps me pass the fifteen minutes 'cooking time' in the batch freezer. If I'm not setting up the next batch of ice cream, you might find me surfing around, checking email, keeping up on all that's news, lurking around in the ice cream forums, or just reading the latest blog entries on my short list of 'regular reads'.

To get things rolling, I thought I'd start with one of the 'happy' regular reads - Truthteller. It's written by a guy named Eduardo who lives somewhere in Canada. I've never met him. I don't even remember how I stumbled upon his blog. Perhaps while I was Googling 'NLP', 'quantum physics', 'The Secret' or some such. In any event, I find his blog refreshing (especially after a miserable news day such as today), and upbeat. It's updated pretty much daily, and it's all about life and the simple pursuit of happiness.

It's a little over the top in spots, but I have to respect a guy who spends a portion of most of his days reading and writing about all topics relevent to helping people find ways to enjoy their life more.

Today's topic...

"what you think about most is what you attract into your life" (read it here)

Another recent headline.. 7 Steps to Happy

Or How to Make your Dreams come true

Definitely more cheerful than today's regular headlines...Dow posts record drop, Housing Market Bubble Bursts, Rare Hurricane Hits Canada...

More blog links to follow, but in the meantime, stay positive, enjoy the early days of the Fall foliage, and not to get too 'Eduardo on you ', remember that negative news sells papers, and happiness is a state of mind, so try not to let the doom get you down. Life is just too short.

That's my pep talk for the day. Hope you enjoyed it.

See you soon.

They Did.

Well, it's official. Night Owl Records is no longer.

Pirate's Den is done.

Paradise-One is zero.

Female Spirit has lost theirs.

Zoe has gone fishing.

Blue Moon Grocery's moon has set.

So what's going on with Cottage Street, small biz in Easthampton, and the great renaissance in our quaint little hamlet?

As Easthampton arguably began its resurgence from the success of Northampton, becoming a nearby affordable alternative for small businesses and home shoppers, so it seems to be going the way of its big sister. The downtown, along with its two biggest abandoned mills, finds itself in need of fresh money, energy, ideas, and enthusiasm. Instead of cool little shops like Crooked House and the Goodlander Gallery, it's Stop and Shop and a few chain stores to be named later. Let's face it, although the economy might not be quite as bad as the media paints it to be, people are definitely feeling the pinch of the rising prices of everything, particularly fuel for their gas and oil tanks. Times, they are indeed, tough.

Do I have all the answers to turning the tide, to jumpstarting the next 'up cycle' of growth? Will the city's new 'master plan' hold the keys to the promised land? No, and I hope so, but probably not. You can lead a horse to water, and even make the water easier to get to, but you still can't make them drink it.

Starting a business is difficult. It's stressful, financially fraught with peril, and hugely time-consuming. Success, in my school of knocks opinion, is a delicate mix of the right idea, at the right time, with the right knowledge, and a ton of hard work. It's about doing your homework before you sign anything, be it a lease, P&S, bank loan, or that first credit app. Starting your own business means saying goodbye to that steady paycheck, benefits (although I realize those are fleeting), and a structured work week. Success can bring with it even longer hours and new pressures. Further, failure can put you in a financial hole that could take years to crawl out of. That's why few who dream it actually do it.

That's also why rather than dwell on the seemingly sorry state of local economics and these so-called victims of its wrath, I feel inspired by them.

They didn't just dream. They did. They followed that passion that burned in their belly. They took those thoughts and piles of post-it notes from morning coffees and daydreams during drives to their cubicle-based jobs and made plans. They found a way to make it real. They created something from nothing. They injected their souls and sweat wholly into something they believed in.

Why did they do it?

Because they loved music and wanted to be around it all the time and to share it.

Because they loved to cook and wanted to make others happy with food.

Because they believed same-sex couples should have a place to live that was luxurious and non-threatening.

Because they wanted their professional life to represent something more than a paycheck and a pension.

Sure, things didn't pan out the way they'd envisioned. But each moves on a little wiser, with a life experience under their belt that no one can ever take away from them. In hindsight, perhaps they would have done a few things differently, but I feel confident to say none regret having put their chips on the table. The memories they've created and the impact they've had on others is truly the reward. Would each love to be contemplating such problems like franchising, second stores, and new product lines? Sure. Do any regret having tried? I doubt it. Mark Schwaber wrote about it in his usual eloquent style here. I think he put it best...

These past 5 years have been remarkable. We've learned more about ourselves, our community and our world than we ever could have if we had chosen another line of work. Not for one second do we regret any decision we've made. We don't consider this venture a failure in any way. Quite the opposite. We feel completely fulfilled. This store has come full circle. It was started (and will finish) with all the love we have to give. It's made our lives together forever enriched. Words fail when it comes to fully communicating our gratitude to all of you who were involved in taking this wonderful journey with us. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you all.

How's that for not leaving anything on the table.

Rain and shuttered shops be darned, I'm inspired.

Randy Pausch (1960-2008)

By now, you've probably heard of Randy Pausch and his powerful 'Last Lecture. I've been meaning to post a blog entry about him, his courageous battle with pancreatic cancer, and his amazingly optimistic and positive message about how to live a happy life. Although he outlived his 1-2 month to live prognosis by over a year, he passed today. If you've never taken the time to watch his 'Last Lecture' or read the book version, I highly recommend it.

Although I haven't made time (ironic) to watch his 'Time Management' lecture, also posted on his website, that looks really good too. You may have some trouble getting through to his website today, but I'm sure it will be easier in a few days.

There are countless great quotes from the talk, so I'll just leave you with a few...

Find the best in everybody…. Wait long enough, and people will surprise and impress you. It might even take years, but people will show you their good side. Just keep waiting.

- Decide if you’re a Tigger or an Eyeore. I’m a Tigger.

- It is not about achieving your dreams but living your life. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself, the dreams will come to you.

- Never underestimate the importance of having fun. I’m dying and I’m having fun. And I’m going to keep having fun every day, because there’s no other way to play it….Having fun for me is like a fish talking about the importance of water. I don’t know how it is like not to have fun…

- Never lose the child-like wonder. It’s just too important. It’s what drives us. Help others.

- To be cliché, death is a part of life and it’s going to happen to all of us. I have the blessing of getting a little bit of advance notice and I am able to optimize my use of time down the home stretch.

May we all be so fearless in the face of our own mortality.

My Lord of the Flies Summer.

I had a mini-reunion of sorts last week with a couple my old college buddies. Scott and Mike. These were the two guys I backpacked through Europe with during that summer between college graduation and the start of my grown-up real world working life. Thinking back at all the great life experiences I've been fortunate enough to partake in, I still put that summer of tramping through Europe near the top of the list. My buddies and I were barely twenty-one, young and still plenty dumb, and although I had traveled a bit with my family, the furthest I'd been was a hockey exchange to Montreal.

It's been more than a few years since that 28 cities, 14 countries in 83 days adventure, but as Scott, Mike, and I sat in the Dirty Truth and reminisced over a couple of Belgian Ales, it felt like yesterday that we were wandering through Versailles or sleeping on chairs in that scary train station in Brindisi, Italy or relaxing carefree on a Greek island beach. That trip opened my eyes to the world. It let me learn that although the language and the currency and the skintones and the streets may be unfamiliar in foreign lands, people are just that, people. People with the same wants and needs and desires as us. To be happy. To have fun. To provide for their family. To laugh with friends. I realize this may not sound like a huge revelation, but for a sheltered kid from Mansfield, Massachusetts, it was life-altering.

Traveling through Europe was like being in a giant 3-d world history book. Nowadays, you can 'google' images of the Collosseum in Rome or virtually walk through Oxford University from your I-phone, but none of that can hold an Ipod to the feeling of awe you get in your gut as you gaze across the two thousand year old structure and imagine what life must have been like in the days of gladiators, imperial empires, and Roman emperors.

My old travel buddies and I reminisced about the cool people we met. Like Pete from Michigan, who was living in Italy for that summer and interning at an Italian hospital. His nurse friends cooked us an authentic Italian dinner. Our job was to find all the ingredients in the local markets. This turned out to be a significant challenge since none of us spoke a word of Italian. We could have been holding a list of elevator parts for all we knew. Nonetheless, that was a dinner to remember.

We reflected on the amazing sites we got to experience firsthand. Like the Neuschwanstein Castle...

We didn't know what we were doing. It was a time when terrorism was just starting to go mainstream, and people were being warned not to travel abroad. If you did travel, you were advised to be careful and just try to blend in. Here's my buddy Mike in Vienna, trying to blend in...

And Scott and I doing equally as good a job not looking too touristy...

Note the book we're reading is 'Let's Go - Europe', the bible for the budget/young traveler who's willing to tolerate the rigors of hostel life and ride third class trains from Austria to Luxembourg to Italy to France. That book was indespensable.

It was great to see my old travel buddies after so many years, and equally as cool to have an excuse to reminisce about an amazing life experience, one that expanded my world view, gave me an invaluable set of first-hand history lessons, taught me how to be a grown-up and truly take care of myself (let's face it, college is a good start, but living in a dorm and walking to a dining hall every day doesn't sharpen survival skills.), and gave me a first glimpse at how good we Americans really do have it.

So what does any of this have to do with life and ice cream? If you've been here before, you've probably figured out that sometimes I lean more toward the 'diaries' than the 'ice cream'. In any event, if you'd like a moral to this little rant, I'd say it's this - although plane ticket prices are soaring right along with the price of gas these days, I hope that won't deter you from plotting and partaking in your own dream travel adventure. As a small biz owner, I don't get to travel as much as I used to, but I can certainly attest to the postitive impact it's had on my life. Two of my summer crew are off to semesters abroad at the end of the summer, and I'm certain I will send them off with a bit of envy.

Even if you can't take your vacation in Paris this summer, I still hope you are able to chart a course to someplace new and interesting. I'm certain you won't regret it.

Or as I like to say, 'Since life is a journey, why not make it one.'

Just Say Yes to the Now.

Someone noticed a book I was reading the other day and asked, “Why do you read these kinds of books?” The book was ‘Eckhart Tolle’s – A New Earth: Finding your Life’s Purpose’ . I took that to mean they thought I was fairly well adjusted, and I suppose, given I’ve actually written a self-help book of sorts myself, didn’t think I really needed that kind of advice. I fumbled around for an answer to the simple question, and what finally stumbled out of my mouth was, ‘because they inspire me.’ Having now had a few batches of ice cream-making worth of time to ponder the question, I feel a little better prepared to expound a bit. My deflection answer still holds to a certain extent though. Self-discovery books (that sounds better than self-help or self-improvement), often do inspire, with stories of characters achieving amazing successes despite a receding hairline and the loss of both limbs in a grotesque threshing machine accident. Who wouldn’t be inspired by Lance Armstrong’s fearless battle through cancer and subsequent emergence from looking death square in the squash to not only to continue his dominance in the sport of cycling, but to become the best there ever was.

So aside from the occasional dose of inspiration, why does one read ‘these kinds of books’?’ Does anyone really expect to pick up a book, read along for a while under that old tree in the backyard, when suddenly they get to page eighty-three and smack in the middle of paragraph four there it is, the meaning of life, hitting them off the top of the head like an apple falling from the branch that’s shading them. What do you know, if I just wear blue every day, people will treat me nicer, my dream job employer will hire me, I’ll be inspired to write that NYT bestselling novel, and will live happily ever after. I suppose a person’s life could be changed by a thought or a new idea or philosophy carefully guarded within the pages of a non-fiction, but that’s certainly not my expectation when I reach for a Steven Covey or a Wayne Dyer book.

So what is the answer to the original question of why? For me, and I apologize if it doesn’t seem as profound as it sounds in my head, it’s because a good non-fiction page-turner makes you think about stuff. Let me use this latest read as an example. As I mentioned, I just finished Tolle’s book, ‘A New Earth’. He’s the guy who wrote ‘The Power of Now’, which I haven’t read, mostly because I got the distinct feeling everything I needed to learn from the book was right in the title. His newest bestseller, thanks to a huge endorsement from Oprah, continues on along the path of ‘living in the moment’, but takes a sharp turn deep into the psych 101 rabbit hole called ego. Using statement such as…

“The ego is not only the unobserved mind, the voice in the head which pretends to be you, but also the unobserved emotions that are the body’s reaction to what the voice in the head is saying.”,

Tolle proposes that our ego is the major obstacle between us and inner peace. He believes it’s our evil ego that triggers all those negative emotional responses in our heads (e.g. I’m not good enough. Nobody appreciates me. I’m not as smart as Mary. Etc.), thus preventing us from being content in the moment. He goes on to define what he coins the ‘pain-body’ (I’ve noticed self-help guru’s love to invent terms for stuff). Translation: ‘pain-body’ is just a fancy name for ‘baggage’. Bad stuff happens to us, ‘e.g. schoolyard bully beats us up and steals our lunch money,’ parents say we’ll never amount to anything, etc., and while seemingly not affecting our daily lives, our dreaded pain-body lies like a hibernating bear ready to awaken at the first sign of spring or threatening circumstance.

Like most self-discovery books, this one’s less rocket science and more reinventing a Freudian wheel. Of course, there’s little arguing what happens to us in the past affects how we respond emotionally to events in the now. We may have never thought of it as ‘pain-body’ per say, but undeniable nonetheless. One of Tolle’s major points is that the simple act of acknowledging the existence of your ego and matching set of baggage makes you more aware and more present. This sets the stage for you to start harnessing the 'Power of the Now'. And buy his next book or attend his seminar of course.

According to ‘A New Earth’, this is what it all seems to boil down to. Tolle asks,

“What is my relationship with the present moment? Am I making it an enemy? Since the present moment is all you ever have, since Life is inseparable from the Now, what the question really means is: What is my relationship with Life? This question is an excellent way of unmasking the ego in you and bringing you into the state of Presence."

Tolle tries to get you to admit that your relationship with the Now is dysfunctional. And when you acknowledge this, you become more present in the moment. “Say yes to the now, make it into your friend,” Tolle preaches. I’ll leave you to ponder your own present moment in whatever moment you choose to do so.

Did I learn anything new from reading A New Earth? Probably not. Did it encourage me to think about how to be better at being in the moment? Seems it did. I had never really thought much about ego and its relationship with your thoughts and emotions. I must admit, though, I think ‘ego’ gets a bad rap. Perhaps I’m just better aligned with an Ayn Rand’s approach than an Eckhart Tolle’s when it comes to ego, aka self.

Achievement of your happiness is the only moral purpose of your life, and that happiness, not pain or mindless self-indulgence, is the proof of your moral integrity, since it is the proof and the result of your loyalty to the achievement of your values. Man's ego is the fountainhead of the human achievement. -Ayn Rand

Sure, ego has a dark side ‘that guy has a big ego’, but be that as it may, I think it’s our drive to care and feed our ego that is perhaps the strongest driver of all human achievement. Ego doesn’t necessarily mean having to be ‘better’ than someone or everyone - how about just trying to be as good or great as you can possibly be? Why does it have to represent what Tolle calls ‘a false sense of self’? Why can’t we just admit being successful feels good? Why does earning the approval and admiration of others have to be portrayed so negatively, like the rich people in the movie Titanic? Of course, you shouldn’t do things just to win the approval of others. I don’t believe you should ‘need’ that approval to be happy with your successes and with your life. But I don’t see what’s wrong with admitting it feels good when something you do, create, become is looked on by others in a positive way. It can be intoxicating. It will fuel your desire to achieve again. As long as one doesn’t become all-consuming, I’m not convinced your ego, your past, and your presence can’t all coexist together happily right here in the moment.

So that’s why I read ‘these kind of books’. Hope I didn’t sound too much like a lunatic drunken psych professor. In a nutshell, ‘those kinds of books’ are just tasty food for thought.

Ice cream for thought, if you will.

On a lighter note, am I the only one that thinks Eckart looks a lot like Benjamin Linus from that kooky Lost island? Coincidence or not?...

I leave you to your now. Enjoy.

The Tao of Small Biz Success.

I came across an article recently by one of my favorite self-help guru's, Dr. Wayne Dyer. His latest book, Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao, is the end result of what he learned during the year he spent deciphering, studying, and meditating on the Tao Te Ching, a guide to life written nearly 2500 years ago by the Chinese philosopher, Lao-tsu. The Tao Te Ching consists of 81 verses chock full o' timeless life lessons. Among them, I thought the 44th, as cited by Dr. D. was intriguing.

"He who knows when to stop is preserved from peril, only thus can you endure long."

In these times of 'what have you done for me lately', stock market rises and crashes triggered sometimes by the seemingly most insignificant piece of prognostication, there's just so much pressure to grow. How much did you grow earnings from last year? Top line? Bottom Line? Net Worth? How much is your stock price going to rise this year? To which, Lao-tsu responds (or would respond if he hadn't been dead for a couple thousand years), how can anyone expect to find peace under that kind of pressure. Instead, he suggests we not focus so much on making the future better, but to concentrate on the one thing you can have a direct and immediate impact on, this moment. By doing whatever it is you do to the best of your ability in this moment, then we will get better at what it is we do, and with such improvement ultimately comes success.

Wayne interprets the verse as the following: 'a small business owner should not focus on 'finding new customers' rather on 'doing the very best job you can for the customer you are working for right now.' By consistently being in that moment, you will please your customers, they will return (with others), and you will enjoy a happier life at the same time.

I'm not sure Lao-tzu or Dr. D. would recommend completely throwing out your business plan or nixing sales projections or skipping those advance tax payments, but it is hard to argue that focusing on the customer at hand isn't sound advice.

Namaste.

Just Seven Years Ago.

“There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.” - Nelson Mandela

One night last week I snuck away from the rigors of small biz life to pay a short visit to my old life. I nearly spent more time in my truck than the actual rekindling part with my buddies, but the trip was worth its weight in gold (or gas if you will). To explain the significance of my little drinking buddy reunion, I should first paint a little picture of the lives we all shared just seven years ago. Hard to encapsulate in a couple sentences, but in the interest of blog attention span, I'll give it my best shot.

We were all working at big companies, ala the old days of multi-year big company employment and something now reserved for history books called ‘pensions’. We mountain-biked after work. We drank a beer or two on a Friday night at places with names that sound like drinking buddies…Rosi O'Shea's, Michael's, The Grog. We used to sit around our buddy Mark’s downtown apartment and listen to David Gray and Talk-Talk and talk-talk about life. This was a tasty slice of life for all of us, like the covered bridge you walk into on one side, travel through shielded from elements that might do you harm, and emerge on the other side in a new place, with a fresh resolve, and a new direction. The time in that bridge was a blast. Healing. Safe. Comfortable. At some point, though, comfort started feeling like complacent. It was nice to have the steady paycheck and be settled into a predictable routine, but an air of change began to blanket us like morning fog. I was first to shake things up. I jettisoned myself from the mother ship for a high powered job at a startup. Shortly after that, my buddy Mark jumped to a similar startup scenario and pointed his loaded-up jeep for New Brunswick, New Jersey. Next was Ken. He and his wife grabbed early retirement packages, sold their big old farmhouse in Newburyport, and were off to live in Spain for a year. Our German buddy, Joerg, bought a cool house near the beach, and more significantly, became an American citizen. Finally, our other drinking bud, Caroline, the ink still drying on her new MBA, liquidated most of her illiquid assets, packed what was left into her Honda, and moved to San Francisco.

It seems once the key to the engine of change has been put into the ignition, you never know where you may end up. For me, it was one failed start-up, two amazing years of wanderlust through the U.S., Australia, and New Zealand, culminating in the conception, birth, and rearing of one small ice cream shop in western Massachusetts. Kenny would spend one life-altering year in Spain with his family and enjoy countless adventures through Europe. Caroline would settle into a sweet downtown flat in San Fran and enjoy four years of fun and new friendships before returning to her roots in Boston. Mark would meet his mate in Jersey, get married in Key West, become father to two beautiful little girls, and move into a killer house in an upscale family neighborhood in the burbs of Atlanta.

So here we were, sitting around a long oak table at one of the favorite old watering holes. Seven years later. We’d met each other under similar circumstances, hung out and grew up a little bit, then sailed off into our own new horizons. We laughed and kidded each other like there'd only been a week since the last time we’d all been together. That’s how it felt. We caught each other up on each other’s new lives. We collectively soaked in the hot tub of change that had brought us each to very different places. It left me soothed, relaxed, and satisfied.

Over burgers and beers, talk of our new lives quickly dissolved into that of the old, finally settling comfortably into just the moment. As we each savored that moment, the nearly forgotten pace of banter spiced with hearty laughter we had enjoyed on a regular basis returned. Mark talked about what it’s like to be a father. I shared snippets of life as a small-biz owner in a cool small town. Ken talked about the post and beam he’s building out here in Sunderland. The conversation fluttered between our old lives and the new. To be honest, I don’t remember a whole lot of what we talked about. What I do remember vividly is one moment while sitting in my buddy Joerg’s living room after our makeshift pub crawl. We’re listening to tunes from Mark’s Ipod, lounging around, sipping a good local Porter, just talking. Mid-conversation I blurt out, ‘this is what I miss the most’. Just sitting around with people you’re totally comfortable with, the one’s you know you can count on for a beer to bail money and everything in between. Friends like that are four-leaf clovers, hard to find, and meant to be kept for a long time. Five hours of driving was just a trip around the block for a fresh taste of that.

High School Reunion.

I went to my 25th high school reunion last night. I realize by mentioning the year, I've given you enough information to figure out that I am, in fact, old. For the longest time, I was always the youngster in the group, what happened? Thankfully, I still look fairly young. At least that's what my old high school mates told me at the Elks Club last night. For that, I suppose I have good genes and low stress living to thank. After all, I grew up in a time before UVA/UVB sunscreens and Paba. In those days, you could find baby oil on the sunscreen shelf. So I consider myself doubly lucky. Or living on borrowed time.

In any event, my reunion was a lot of fun. If you get a high school reunion invite in the mail someday, I recommend you go. It's your chance to sneak through a little wormhole and be transported back to a forgotten era of your life. It's the strangest thing, standing again in a room full of people you literally grew up with. But something's different. Everyone's been morphed into grown-ups, with jobs, and kids, and responsibilities. Some with a few extra pounds or a few less hairs. Guys you idolized as a kid are just regular guys now. The girl of your adolescent dreams still looks great, but now she's got a ring on her finger and a picture of her two beautiful little girls in her pocketbook. It's a bit surreal, but in a good way.

You work your way around the room, saying hello to friends you haven't seen for over half your life.

"Great to see you."
"Great to see you."
"Where you living now? Got any kids? What are you doing?"
"I'm living in... 2 kids... Selling life insurance... And you?"

Couple laughs, a story or two, swig of beer, and it's off to the next group of high school friends.

I was impressed there was no, 'look how successful I am' or 'aren't my kids amazing'. Just genuine happy to see you again after all these years energy.

And aside from the collage of high school yearbook photos on display and the Pina Colada song playing in the background, there's little reminiscing of the old high school days. Everyone seems interested in the now. I like that. Someone mentions 'wouldn't it have been cool to have some of our old teachers here'. I concur and wonder which ones are still around. There's a few I'd like to thank for skills I thought trivial as a tenth grader. Like typing and writing. Many of those teachers seemed old two and a half decades ago. But then again thirty-two seems ancient when you're seventeen.

My reunion was also one with my old hometown too. I made the obligatory drive by the house I grew up in. Cased some of the old haunts. My favorite fishing hole. The not-so-big-anymore hill we used to race down on our 3-speeds with the banana seat and baseball cards clacking in the spokes. Again, it's all so 'the same but different'. The old corner store at the end of my road has grown-up into a strip mall, fully equipt with gelateria and eco-friendly dry cleaner. The little schoolhouses I shuffled to every morning with my Partridge Family lunchbox have been transformed into giant educational complexes that look more like correctional facilities. I grew up in a town that didn't have a single fast food joint until I was in college. That same town now has a mall, a Home Depot, luxury condos on every downtown block, and garden style apartments that sell for $250K.

I was raised in a quaint little town just like my new hometown of Easthampton. It makes me wonder where it'll be in a couple twenty years. I'm sure it'll be more developed and seasoned by time, but hopefully still look good and retain a bit of its charm.

Just like that gang I hung out with last night.

Take out the Trash.

I watched the movie Peaceful Warrior the other night. It's based on the book 'The Way of the Peaceful Warrior' by Dan Millman. The caption at the beginning says, 'based on actual events' but it feels more like a spiritual adventure than your typical sports movie. Speaking of good sports movies, check out 'We are Marshall' sometime. That's a good sports movie. Don't mind the critics' grades. It's about rising from the ashes of tragedy. Their entire team, coaches, and a number of fans are lost when their plane crashes on the return flight from a game. I guess I'm just a sucker for a good underdog-makes-good true-life sports movie, ala Hoosiers, The Natural, and Rudy.

Peaceful Warrior is a little annoying to watch in spots. It's about a cocky college gymnast and his equally cocky teammates all trying to make the Olympic gymnastics team. The movie tries hard, perhaps a bit too hard, to make them unlikable and in need of a good spirtual cleansing. Along comes our imaginary spirit guide (or is he?) in the form of one old and beat up Nick Nolte, a most unlikely Yoda. He tries to instill his zen-like ways on the kid, but he's just not ready to hear it. Until the obligatory life-changing event occurs when the mad-at-the-world kid drops his motorcyle and shatters his leg. You can probably guess how the rest of the story goes.

The movie isn't great, but I did get a few good nuggets out of it I thought I'd share with you. Here they are. Get your yoga mat ready...

A warrior does not give up what he loves. He finds the love in what he does.

Life is a choice. You can choose to be a victim or anything else you'd like.

Warriors act.
Only a fool reacts.

Accept that you don't control what will happen to you.

There is always something going on. You just need to pay attention.

Empty your mind (take out the trash). Be in the moment.

The journey is what brings us happiness, not the destination.

Tasty.

Namaste' to you and yours.

The World According to Ben.

I came across a Peter Pauper Press copy of Poor Richard's Almanack in the gift shop in Old Deerfield a few weeks ago. Being always on the lookout for the next metaphor or pearl of wisdom, I knew I wasn't leaving the store without my own copy.

If you haven't seen it or been forced to read it in some high school English class, it's basically a collection of 'observations' on life, as recorded by a guy you may have heard of, Benjamin Franklin. There's a disclaimer on the first page that clearly states that 'Ben Franklin did not orginate all the sayings in Poor Richard's'. Ben himself calls the collection 'Wisdom of many ages and Nations.' It' s quite a collection.

Some are a bit dated, 'A penny saved is two pence clear. A pin a-day is a groat a year. Save and have.' Others show Ben to be a bit of a pessimist. 'Love your neighbor; yet don't pull down your hedge.' Many read like fortune cookies- 'The cat in gloves catches no mice'. But there are some good nuggets in there. Let me give you a few sample spoons. Perhaps I'll drop in a few more when the mood strikes me or I can't think of anything else. Let me start it off with a few that jumped out at me on my first pass...

"Fish and Visitors stink after 3 days."

"There are no ugly loves, nor handsome prisons."

"Necessity never made a good bargain."

"The discontented man finds no easy chair."

"Wealth and content are not always bedfellows."

"Think of three things - whence you came, where you are going, and to whom you must account."

Indeed.